Just because it is does not mean it should be

Mental Health: Stigma remains

When you stop and think about someone or even yourself who has a mental condition like Bipolar, PTSD, or the like, are you comfortable talking about it with someone like a boss, co-worker especially when you have a breakdown due to your condition?

The newest generation has ruined this for anyone really suffering from unstable mentality. I am not saying that all of Gen Z has used anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, or any other real mental conditions as an excuse to either miss school, get into a fight, or basically to get out of anything they do not want to do, just most of them that I know.

How many actually have a condition that gets so heightened at times they actually miss work or any other adulting responsibilities? This would be interesting to know.

The shame felt when I missed work not once, but twice because I could not find a reason to get out of bed because the hopelessness of a depressive episode due to bipolar was overtaking my brain. The second time I was ugly crying and I could not stop. I didn’t get out of the house or bed for five days straight. I should be able to control this, right?

Apparently, my boss thought so because she held onto my pay so I had to talk to her. I was not in any condition to put myself out in public but I needed my money. So I put pants on and went. She knows about my Bipolar, I have been honest throughout the over two years I worked there. When I got there she asks me “ You here for your check?" ummmm… duh. She was using a cold and mean tone. That was almost enough for me to lose it right there, but I didn't. We go into the office and she said flatly and coldly “You got your key because you don’t have a job anymore" I told her that’s fine. She replied yes it is very snappy and cold. I couldn't help but stand up for my fragile mind…..” I don’t need to be talked to like that right now". That pissed her off she told me to give her my key, get my check, and leave. This was enough to send me back to the house and right into bed while ugly crying the whole way. I kept it together long enough so the bar patrons wouldn't be asking questions.

How in the heck am I supposed to handle this. I was fired for a mental breakdown. I called to say I couldn’t come in but I was balling. I couldn’t stop long enough to call. I told my boss that my dad was not ok and neither was I. I later texted her the real reason (well the next day when I had finally calmed down).

All in all, I was already ashamed of not being able to perform the task I needed to, going to work, but it happens and only twice in two and a half years. Do you think I want this to happen? I hate feeling this way and I feel like I was totally let down by everyone who was supposed to care about me at my work because not one of them has asked me if I am ok. Not one. They obviously do not believe it or understand the severity of my condition. How do I get my job back or do I even want it back? WHAT WOULD YOU DO!!??